Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
