Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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