JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
