so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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