I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
