Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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