I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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