can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
