u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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