no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
