Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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