Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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