Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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