therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
