Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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