this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
