I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
