what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
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