sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
