remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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