I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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