At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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