My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
