i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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