I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
