Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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