What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
