Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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