she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
