I don't usually arrange sex via text message
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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