I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
