he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
