i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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