don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
