I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
