She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
