Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
