I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Drunk is not a location!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
