The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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