Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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