U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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