how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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