just come out here and I will go home with you...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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