The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
