Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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