I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
ugly people sure do ruin things
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
