Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Sext me about skeletons
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
