In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
