I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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