she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Randomize
