I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
