it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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