I think I just saw someone hide a body.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so much tequila, so little girl.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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