Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize