Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
