i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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