i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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