its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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