If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
