im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
