And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
