Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
