The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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