I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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