I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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